Status update kat FB.
‘ If someone you love hurts you, cry a river...’
But, aku tak boleh tunjuk kesedihan depan family aku.
I can’t cry again in front of Dalia either.
“ Janji tau kau tak nangis lagi sebab jantan tak guna tu?”
Though I nodded that day, but hakikatnya aku tak dapat tahan air mata aku ni. Malam kat kolej aku menangis teruk.
Jumpa dengan Afiq di kafe, dan aku kira dia sama bersubahat dengan Syakir.
Syakir call again and again.
Aku text Afiq.
‘ Afiq, tell your beloved roommate to STOP CALLING ME!’
Dia stop calling hari tu. And he didn’t call again after that.
Two days later, suddenly ada nombor lain call.
Aku ingat Syakir. Maybe dia pakai nombor kawan dia ke.
Suddenly, my handphone bleeped.
‘ Hi. Nama I Sarah. Boleh jumpa tak?’
Sarah who? Ni prank message silap nombor nak cari jantan ke?
Prejudice.
Then dia call lagi. Aku terus jawab call.
“ Assalamualaikum.”
Aku jawab salam.
“ Reni eh?”
“ Hmmm...” Suspicious, but curious.
“ I Sarah. Have you heard of me before?”
Aku diam. “ Tak. Siapa awak?”
Aku dengar dia mengeluh. “ I’m Syakir’s girlfriend.”
Nafas tersekat kat tekak. How dare she called me?!
“ I think we need to talk.”
“ Why?” Aku malas nak layan. Tanya acuh tak acuh.
“ Err... Syakir tak nak kahwin dengan I.” Suara dia macam annoying.
“ It’s none of my own business. Saya dengan Syakir tak ada apa-apa. So you should talk to him. Bukan saya. “ Aku membidas. Aku tak nak ambil tahu pasal Syakir.
Senyap. Seconds later I heard sobbing through the phone.
“ Tolonglah I, Reni. I nak jumpa you esok boleh?”
Aku diam.
“ Sorry. Busy esok. Awak settle sendiri dengan Syakir. I’m out of this.”
Aku terus tekan button merah.
Luckily she didn’t call after that.
Petang tu aku dengan roomies semua lepak kat tepi kolam. Bagi makan ikan. Aku terfikir apa yang Syakir buat kat aku. Aku teringat balik memories dulu-dulu.
Itu dulu.
Sekarang aku dah tak mampu nak menangis lagi. Letih. Mujur Dalia bagi support. My roomies bagi support.
“ Aku mintak maaf, Reni.” Liz cakap dekat aku. Masa tu cuma aku dengan dia dalam bilik.
Aku senyum tawar. “ It’s okay la Liz. Thanks for telling me hari tu.”
Liz diam. Dia tepuk bahu aku.
Petang tu jugak Syakir call.
Maybe I need a better way to solve this rather than ignore him completely.
Aku tarik nafas and jawab call. I promised myself this is the last call.
Diam.
“ Reni?”
“ Hmm...”
“ Saya tak jadi kahwin.”
Diam.
“ I don’t love her. I love you.”
Diam.
“ Reni, say something please.”
Diam.
“ Please sayang.”
Mengeluh.
“ Syakir.”
“ Yes, dear.”
“ I’m going to say this for the last time. Please don’t call me again after this. Kita dah tak ada apa-apa dah. Leave me alone.”
“ But Reni. I cannot forget you...”
“ People might not forget, Syakir, but people can learn from it. Learn to love somebody.”
“ Reni, do you mean Sarah?”
“ I don’t know. Awak fikirlah sendiri. You have the answer.”
“ But Reni...”
“ Tolonglah Syakir. Don’t make me mad or something. Just accept the fact that we are not belong to each other.”
“ One mistake then I must leave you?”
“ Berani buat berani tanggung.”
Dia mengeluh.“ Can’t we be friends?”
Menjadi sahabat selepas broke up dengan boyfriend sendiri adalah satu langkah yang tidak bijak.
“ No. Sorry. Sorry for everything. And thanks.”
“ I’m sorry too Reni.”
“ Hmm...”
“ This is going to be the last time then...” His voice sounded sad.
“ Hmm..” Mata bergenang dengan air.
“ Okay then. Goodbye. Take a good care of yourself.”
“ You too.”
Malam tu aku rasa sedih, but tak cukup untuk buat aku menangis lagi.
On FB malam tu.
Few likes and comments. But comment seseorang buatkan aku rasa tertarik.
‘ If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. ’
Siapa?
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